The classic definition of chutzpah is found in Leo Rosten’s indispensable book The Joys of Yiddish: “that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan.” I would like to offer an alternative that is especially useful in the realm of international relations: “that quality enshrined in a head of state who, having slaughtered the citizens of his own country for seeking freedom, condemns the actions of another head of state for seeking to defend his citizens against rioters and looters.” In the dictionary under this definition will be a picture of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, as quoted in the Jerusalem Post:

Meanwhile, the Iranian president offered his own criticism of the British police force’s handling of the riots, saying “What kind of country treats its own people like this? The ugliest treatment is the police’s unacceptable attack on the people, who have no weapons in hand.”

While Cameron has called the burning and looting in Britain “criminality, pure and simple”, Ahmadinejad portrayed the events as peaceful protests brutally repressed by police.

“What kind of a treatment is this for the people who run out of patience because of poverty and discrimination? … I advise them to correct their savage behavior because this kind of savage treatment of people is absolutely not acceptable.”

Three words for you, Mahmoud: Neda Agha-Soltan. You remember her, don’t you, Mahmoud? She was beaten to death by your thugs in the midst of the 2009 Tehran protests. You don’t? Maybe this will refresh your memory:

It takes a special kind of sociopath to be able to say stuff like this with a straight face.

Syria’s crackdown hits ally Hezbollah’s image

–St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Just so you know this wasn’s some headline writer’s misunderstanding of the article, here’s the first paragraph:

As Syria’s crackdown on protesters gets bloodier, it is having repercussions for one of Damascus’ most crucial allies, eroding the reputation of the Lebanese militant group Hezbollah.

Perhaps someone in Geneva reads this blog, or more likely, reads CAMERA, or maybe just woke up and turned on the news. In any case, the World Council of Churches has finally noticed that things are not going well in Syria, and urges everyone to just calm down:

On behalf of the World Council of Churches, I express my deep concern in this time of conflict for the people of Syria from every background and belief. I appeal to all parties in the Syrian Arab Republic to renounce violence at once, and to re-dedicate themselves and their country to the pursuit of dialogue, healing and peace.

All parties? Last time I checked, this was pretty much a one-way slaughter. But false even-handedness is the WCC way.

In the wake of so many deaths, it is particularly urgent that the army and government security agencies cease the indiscriminate use of force, ensuring the citizens’ rights to free assembly and expression, pursuit of political progress and basic human dignity. All governments have an obligation to protect the lives and dignity of their citizens, and to protect their human rights and fundamental freedoms.

From the government and on all sides there has been a stated desire for national reform. Now is the time to end the violence and enter a process of dialogue leading to democratic change.

Naivete in dealing with dictators is another part of the WCC way. Bashar Assad has no “desire for national reform.” He’s looking for a way to save his neck and his power. In the process, he’s used a handful of words that tickle the ears of the WCC leadership. You’ve got to wonder what it is about the ecumenist bureaucracy that renders some people so incapable of perceiving reality beneath the surface that they find so pleasing.

At the International Ecumenical Peace Convocation, convened by the World Council of Churches in May 2011, in Kingston, Jamaica, more than 1,000 participants included these words in their message to the world:

“With partners of other faiths, we have recognized that peace is a core value in all religions, and the promise of peace extends to all people regardless of their traditions and commitments.”

It is in that spirit that we call upon all who have been caught in the tragic cycle of confrontation within Syria: Stop the violence and killing. Seek a just peace for all.

There is no “cycle of confrontation” in Syria (in Geneva, they must do microsurgery to implant these cliches in your brain when you go to work there–I can’t think of any other reason to use such a mindless expression to describe the situation in Syria). There is a dictatorial government, there are people protesting in the streets demanding change, and there is that same government using guns and goons to try to destroy those protesting and squelch any inclination to further dissent on the part of the oppressed population.

Well, at least they did call on the army and state security agencies to stop killing people in the streets. I’m sure Assad will get on that right away.