Formerly Great Britain continues down the path of making itself an national Monty Python routine. If you thought the election of a Conservative government would stop stuff like this, you were sadly mistaken. According to the Daily Telegraph:

Children are to be taught about homosexuality in maths, geography and science lessons as part of a Government-backed drive to “celebrate the gay community”.

Lesson plans have been drawn up for pupils as young as four, in a scheme funded with a £35,000 grant from an education quango, the Training and Development Agency for Schools.

The initiative will be officially launched next month at the start of “LGBT History Month” – an initiative to encourage teaching about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual issues.

The lesson plans, spread across the curriculum, will be offered to all schools, which can choose whether or not to make use of them.

This year. They will be mandatory next year, you can bet money on it.

Among the suggestions are:

Maths – teaching statistics through census findings about the number of homosexuals in the population, and using gay characters in scenarios for maths problems;

Design and technology – encouraging pupils to make symbols linked to the gay rights movement;

Science – studying animal species where the male takes a leading role in raising young, such as emperor penguins and sea horses, and staging class discussions on different family structures, including same-sex parents;

Geography – examining the transformation of San Francisco’s Castro district in the 1960s from a working-class Irish area to the world’s first “gay neighbourhood”, and considering why homosexuals move from the countryside to cities;

Languages – using gay characters in role play scenarios, and teaching “LGBT vocabulary”.

Given these clever ideas, the possibilities are endless:

Economics: Examine the impact of the remaking of Castro as a gay neighborhood on the bathhouse industry;

Film Studies: Seek to determine the influence of Ed Wood and his seminal work Glen or Glenda on the Hollywood, with special emphasis on the making of The Christine Jorgensen Story;

Home economics: Study the effect of television on male fashion sense, with particular reference to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy;

History: You don’t actually expect schools to talk about history during LGBT History Month, do you?

The Telegraph found a couple of people who would defend this:

Sue Sanders, from Schools Out, defended the project.

She said: “These lessons are not big tub-thumping lessons about LGBT and nothing else.

No, they are about finding gayness and gay people even in subject matter that has nothing to do with them or with sexual orientation or in some instances with people at all.

David Watkins, a teacher involved in the scheme, said: “We don’t want teachers to start out saying ‘This is a gay lesson.’

I doubt that they’ll have to, when characters in math problems are identified by sexual orientation, or when a geography class is asked why gays move from the country to cities (they don’t ever go the other way?), or when emperor penguins get compared with Heather’s two mommies.

“We just want lessons that don’t ignore that there are lesbian and gay people who suffer from issues and problems.”

Which are accordingly going to be brought up in all kinds of bizarre ways, solely for the purpose of shoe-horning gayness into lessons that have nothing to do with it.

Take note, my fellow Americans. Ideas like these will be coming to a school system near you (at least if you’re on the West Coast or in the Northeast) before you can say, “What year was Stonewall, anyway?

(Via Hot Air and I Hate the Media.)