Kathryn Jean Lopez of National Review Online has a column today in which she refers to a play by “Roman Catholic” playwright Theresa Rebeck that got some attention in the New York Times last week. Ms. Rebeck, who claims to be a Roman Catholic, must be a real piece of work.

Her play, written under a commission from the University of Delaware English and Theater departments, is called “O Beautiful,” and is described as being “a satirical look at the politics of the Tea Party, Glenn Beck and the failed Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell,” which is to say that the school gave her $50,000 of foundation money (the Unidel Foundation had the honor of praying for this) to write an extended op-ed. And that’s not all:

“O Beautiful” also deals with suicide, date rape, gun rights, the founding fathers and, of course, abortion — in a subplot starting with the first scene, in which a pregnant teenager, Alice, seeks counsel from Jesus Christ, who wanders through the high school and characters’ homes without explanation. Jesus, rendered as sympathetic to everyone irrespective of their politics, reaches a provocative conclusion when Alice, who has been raped, asks where in the Bible he opposes abortion.

Alice: Did you ever say, “I’m Jesus, and I say that stupid girls who let guys talk them into going to the back seat of their cars have to have babies?” Did you say that ever?

Jesus: No.

Alice: All you talk about is, be nice to each other! You never said nobody’s allowed to have an abortion.

Jesus: No.

Alice: So can I? Can I? Can I?

Jesus: Honestly, I — I don’t really have an issue with it.

It is true that Jesus never said nobody can have an abortion. He also never said that nobody should have sex with a weasel, poison their mother-in-law, pay taxes using camel dung, or refer to God as “Mr. Bojangles.” So I guess He doesn’t have an issue with any of those things, either. Oh, and by the way–Jesus never, ever used the word “nice.”

In writing this opus, Ms. Rebeck didn’t start with Jesus, of course, but with her own politics:

“So I started with Alice’s story, but the politics of our day was also on my mind, and I felt particularly disturbed by how Jesus was being distorted over and over on the right,” added Ms. Rebeck, a University of Notre Dame graduate…

If I was Notre Dame, I’d ask for my sheepskin back. What she’s saying, in essence, is that she’s pro-abortion, so Jesus must be also. I mean, He’d never disagree with me, would He?

The director of the play and chairman of the university’s theater department, Sanford Robbins, justified this nonsense this way:

“Part of the university’s mission is to provoke thought and debate,” Mr. Robbins said. “And even people who may disapprove of her Jesus will see, I hope, that this is a loving, caring Jesus.”

Truth be told, He’s not. He’s a Jesus who doesn’t care about the life of the one to be killed, doesn’t care about the effect of abortion on women, doesn’t care about truth. In short, He’s a 21st century moral relativist who thinks that putting self first is a great way to live. Which is to say that He is apparently the playwright rather than any Jesus anyone has ever actually met.

One more thing. See those ellipses above? Here’s the end of that paragraph, which deserves to stand on its own:

…who, in her 20s, was a ghostwriter of Mass homilies for a company that paid $50 for weekday services and $150 for Sundays. “I have huge admiration for Jesus Christ and for his incredible compassion for all people.”

When I read this, my jaw dropped. There’s actually a company out there paying pro-abortion “Catholics” to ghostwrite homilies for Catholic priests to read at Catholic Masses? There are actually Catholic priests out there who, rather than write their own sermons, use the scribblings of people who repudiate Catholic teaching and make up stuff about Jesus based on their politics? Is there a Catholic bishop out there who’d like to comment on this? Because I’m speechless.